Where's My Moto?

I’ve spent the past two days in Kigali; the land where the phrase “all-you-can-eat” has a limitation and the guards are smaller than the guns that they carry.  The trip has been a great experience thus far.  When we stopped in D.C. on the flight over, the President asked to have coffee with Michael and I, but we told him we were too busy.  Aside from that, the 30 hour flight was just as boring as I dreamed it would be; that is, until the custom’s hold up for our reluctant involvement in a seemingly illegal pellet stove business.  After we were released by customs, we met Willie, Oak, and Christian outside of the airport while the song that says “reunited and it feels so good” played over the loud speaker.  Later, we did what any good tourists would do after their arrival in an African country… we ate Indian food.

Since then, my diet has involved more beer than water; partly due to the fact that the water can potentially lead to typhoid fever, but more so because getting a beer at a restaurant costs about $1.25, so I say smoke ’em while you got ‘em.  Last night we ate (and drank) at Mezze Fresh, also known as Chipotle (except, on their menu, they’ve replaced ‘barbacoa’ with “goat meat”).  In order to get to Mezze Fresh, we paid some strangers a dollar to clutch on to the back of a dirt bike and cross our fingers while they drove across town and ignored the rules of the road; or, as Rwandans would say, ‘we took motos’  (despite my seemingly negative take on motos, I actually think they’re awesome). 

During the past two days, we’ve also accomplished quite a bit of work, set up the pre-fab and delivery of the trusses and material, and managed to go broke, but, what I’d already mentioned seemed more interesting. 

The following list is one that I’ve developed based on my vast 2 days of experience.

           

     Things to keep in mind (while in Kigali):

1.       Paul Kigame likes his privacy, don’t f*** with his fruit bats.

2.       If you want to avoid the Muzungu stereotype, don’t be white, it’s that simple.

3.       2.5 million Franks is worth approximately 1/700^th of what it sounds like.  Don't get excited.

4.       At stoplights, there are green and red lights. Yellow is missing because, here in Rwanda, drivers don’t slow down and they’re never cautious.

5.       At a restaurant, you can get a beer for about $1.25… that’s worth mentioning twice.

If you were expecting more from this list, too bad, I’ve been here two days.  Stay tuned.

- Dakota Miller