Monday, August 19, 2013

Guys with Guns, Gorillas...and a Volcano


Do you sometimes stop, right in the middle of what you were doing, and wonder “What kind of life choices did I make where I ended up here?”

Okay, now the reason I ask is because today we climbed a volcano, named Mt. Bisoke, and let me tell you that while I was hiking- no, sorry, scrambling and dry heaving-I was asking myself that very same thing.

Let me start from the beginning. We wake up, meet the driver, drive, and arrive at some white person haven at the entrance to the national park. After being surrounded by locals for so long, a dense white population can be very overwhelming to some. And these are white people from all over the world, so at least we got some diversity going on. Also, it might be interesting to note that out of the 30 or so that arrived to hike Bisoke that morning, not only were we the only Americans, but also the youngest of the group as well.

So, with those two facts in mind, we were thinking “Yeah, we’re young, we’re strong. We’re from good ole’ Colorado! We climb these peaks in our sleep! Bring it on!”

Well. As we went uphill, things for us started to quickly go the other way. Don’t get me wrong, from the get-go all five of us were eagerly hiking directly behind our kindly guard and the two military men-hereafter known as “guys with guns”- and didn’t struggle to keep up at all. But then the stairs came. The dreaded stairs. Dear readers, image any staircase you have ever climbed, no matter how tall it was, and now replace the stairs with old canvas wheat bags filled with dirt and replace your what I’m hoping was a pleasant mood with one of total despair and hopelessness. I might be exaggerating a bit, but these stairs from hell just wouldn’t end. There is no such thing as switchbacks in Africa apparently because the entire trail was vertical. But the best part was that when there weren’t satan stairs, there was steep mud slides of doom that you had to crawl up as the guides and guys with guns would hop and skip gracefully up the side in rubber rain boots.
Mastering the stairs of death

Okay, so there was my rant. Let’s go over why Bisoke is so amazing, and a mountain that everyone should get the chance to see (once. Only once. It’s still a hard hike, you know.) Remember in the beginning when I mentioned the life choices question? Well while I just finished my 13th set of the staircase of death, I took the time to look up for a bit and take in my surroundings. Not even the best of my 11th grade literature class descriptive skills can describe this view. I was walking in a rainforest in the heart of Africa, surrounded by mist and strange flora and birdcalls that were at times eerie but at others more beautiful than anything else. At the base of the volcano were plots of farmland that extended anywhere you looked, and the silver roofs of corrugated metal and the colorful cloths that covered the people working in the fields. Directly in front of you were more stairs. But as I heaved and my heart and lungs struggled to keep me alive and my legs convulsed, I was amazed at where I was. While my body screamed “YOU DAMNED FOOL ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME” my mind was entirely at peace. What a miracle that my life had led me to this wild and foreign place.

            Now, for the moment you were all waiting for. In mid-ascension, one guy with gun told us to quiet down, for while we walked by a patch of forest you could clearly see an entire family of gorillas. About 15 of them; just hunkered down and watching us. There were two males, relatively small in stature and plenty of babies, but before anyone could get a good look we were hurried onward. You sometimes forget that these animals could easily rip you apart. But what luck we had! There are only 400 wild gorillas in the world, and we saw a family of them!
            Finally, we summitted. Well, not all together. Salka and Swartz, having to prove their burliness and represent our hometown, made it to the top first and in good shape. Then came some fit South African couple, then myself five minutes later, and then the rest of the pack afterwards. From the top all you could see were clouds, so there wasn’t much of a view, but the crater of the volcano was a dark lake surrounded by trees so that was perfectly fine with us, and after a lunch of lime-flavored peas, bars and beef jerky under the watchful eyes of the guys with guns, we were en route for the base.

            And let me tell you that the sadistic steps of doom are much more enjoyable coming down, and the mud slopes of pain turned into fun mud slides of pain! All while we shared conversation with some worldly Spaniards. That, dear readers, was how we climbed Mt. Bisoke, and while it was definitely not easy for even the most seasoned climbers, if your life ever takes you in that direction, make sure to take full advantage of it.

You’ll thank me later, but your calves won’t.


Hasta luego, amigos
-Steph






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